The Wolstanton When-ever-ly World Wide Website April Fool 2009 Edition!!
"Where DID you get that colour?!!" exclaimed a reader.
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true. But then there's nothing stranger than the truth.
Posted 01/04/2009
11/01/2009
David Vine. Commom 'tater since records began.
David Vine, who died on Sunday aged 73, was the affable frontman for many popular BBC television shows of the 1970s and 1980s including It's A Knock Out, Miss World, Match Of The Day, Grandstand, A Question Of Sport, Horse of the Year Show and Ski Sunday. He also hosted coverage of snooker, the Eurovision Song Contest, Wimbledon and the Olympic Games.
15/01/2009
Prisoner star McGoohan dies at number 80.
18/01/2009
Tony Hart died aged 83. Hart was one of those really annoying people who can draw! Famous for his his 50-year television career through programmes such as Vision On, Take Hart and Hartbeat. He retiried in 2001 due to ill health. ..... and don't forget, it was he who introduced us to Morph.
28/01/2009
Lynyrd Skynyrd keyboardist Billy Powell died Wednesday morning (January 28) at his home in Orange Park, Fla. He was 56. According to the Associated Press, Powell called 911 around 12:55 a.m., saying he was having trouble breathing. Rescue crews arrived at the home, but Powell was pronounced dead just before 2 a.m.
Orange Park Police Lt. Mark Cornett told the AP that Powell had missed an appointment yesterday for a cardiac evaluation.
Powell, whose fluid piano runs spiced such classic Skynyrd songs as "Freebird," "Call Me the Breeze" and "Sweet Home Alabama," and founding guitarist Gary Rossington were the only two original members of the Southern rock band to survive the 1977 plane crash that killed singer Ronnie Van Zant, guitarist Steve Gaines and backup vocalist Cassie Gaines.
Since then, guitarist Allen Collins and bassist Leon Wilkeson have also died; former drummer Artimus Pyle survived the crash but no longer tours with the band, which re-formed in 1987 and still is a powerful concert draw.
Skynyrd lore has it that Powell, a former roadie for the band in its earliest incarnations, was asked to join by Van Zant when the latter heard Powell's keyboard take on "Freebird."
Words stolen from - Reuters/Billboard
29/01/2009
Wiliam Stone. Who?. Last man to shuffle off who serves in BOTH world wars. They don't make heros like this any more.
29/01/2009
British musician John Martyn, 60, dies. Played guitar so that makes him worhty of a mention here.
8/02/2009
Terry Spencer
Veteran pilot and photographer | 1918 - 2009
World War II flier known for tipping the 'doodlebug' and photographing The Beatles. They don't make heros like this any more.
26/02/2009
Wendy Richard, the actress, who died on February 26 aged 65, became one of the best-known faces on British television. A glittering career blighted only by her appearance in Stenders. As a younger woman, she had been cast in glamour roles, notably as the buxom Miss Brahms in the 1970s situation comedy Are You Being Served? Phwoooar!
www.keeptheheaton.com
These folks have very kindly supplied me spares to keep my boiler going.
Happy 250th Birthday
Robert Burns is 250 today. Well ... he would have been had he not died aged 37.
Read all about him here if you really want to
Happy Birthday Charles Darwin. 200 years old today.
His theory is much talked about. They rarely mention how he managed to have so much time to think about it and travel the world. He married into the Wedgwood family and enjoyed their money. Imagine how different natural science would be if he'd had to work for a living like the rest of us.
Today is the 10th anniversary of Dusty Springfield's death. Dusty shuffled off bofore WW went into production so the best we can offer the top 60's bird is a post humous mention.
I think it was the heavy eye make up that really did it for me.
Happy Birthday Roger Bannister. 80 years old today. He can't run a mile in under four minutes any more, but at least he could once. Well done Roger. My best ever time was probably two to three minutes slower.
Day two in heaven: Jade Goody is nominated for eviction.
Remember the Hamlet adverts? Always worth a chuckle but I don't remember this one:
Match Report
21/3/2009
Stoke 1, Middlesborough Nil. I don't care if they played the best football, we got the points. Up The Potters!!
Check out this excellent Stoke V Middlesborough footage. Spot the Gay mustashe!
Readers Lives 1
Some time ago reader Steve (who will remain nameless) emigrated to the Good Ol' US of A. A while after he'd settled down the evil UK Taxman contacted Nameles-Steve. They accused him of working for only one customer for a considerable length of time. The self-employed amongst us will know this means you have to pay more tax as you are considered to be the same status as employed workers. Many thousands of English pounds were demanded by the evil one. Nameless-Steve contacted the evil Taxman and explained he had done business with many customer during the period they referred to. Evil Taxman wanted proof! (This is where it gets silly) Nameless-Steve piled up copies of 250 invoices and faxed every one to Evil Taxman as proof of trading with many customers. He then phoned Evil to make sure he had received the "Fax". Evil TM said "I suppose you think that's funny?!" Nameless-Steve replied "No. Would you like me to send the rest?"
Readers Lives 2
(A real 21st Century story this one)
Reader Chris (who will remain nameless) has, as part of his mid-life-crisis, taken up powerkiting as a hobby. A perfectly harmless pastime you might think. Nameless-Chris sent me these pictures of his very own leg:
Nameless-Chris has some very thoughtful freinds who (very kindly) filmed his agony, put it to music and posted it on the internet. Here
Get well soon Nameless-Chris.
01/04/2009
I spent time working in Italy recently. Italy is a land of people concerned about their appearance, a land packed full of beautiful women. Somehow our merry party of three managed to end up eating in a gay restaurant. Before we had realised the gay-ness of the establishment I was looking through my phrase book. "Hey" said I "this book has a chat-up lines section. It tells you how to say I love you in Italian". "What is it?" asked Matt. "Ti amo" said I. "Ti Amo" repeated Matt. Then we realised what we'd done. We'd told each other "I love you" in Italian, in an Italian gay bar. Shortly after free drinks arrived on our table. The locals seemed to like us, the drinks were on the house. They were sent over by the bar-man(?) wearing eye-liner. Lucky for us, the drinks were not spiked and we didn't wake up with sore arses.
Time to start motorcycling again methinks.
01/04/2009
World Cup qualifiers match report:
England 2, Some other team 1
Pah! The world has at last woken up to the fact that accountants and bankers know nothing about wealth and honesty.
Circulation 16