The Wolstanton When-ever-ly World Wide Website Back to Normal Edition!!
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The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true. But then there's nothing stranger than the truth.
Posted 20/09/2008
25/04/2008
Humphrey Richard Adeane Lyttelton, trumpeter, clarinetist, bandleader, broadcaster, writer, journalist and calligrapher: born Eton, Berkshire 23 May 1921; cartoonist, Daily Mail 1949-53; chairman, I’m Sorry I Haven’t Clue 1972-2008; married 1948 Pat Braithwaite (one daughter; marriage dissolved 1952), 1952 Jill Richardson (died 2006; two sons, one daughter); died Barnet, Hertfordshire 25 April 2008.
18/03/2008
Arthur C Clarke. Best remembered for his work on 2001 a Space Oddity.
3/3/2008
Jeff Healey
Blind Canadian rock musician Jeff Healey has died in a Toronto hospital aged 41 after a lifelong battle against cancer, his publicist has said.
15/09/2008 Rick Wright of Pink Floyd lost the battle with Cancer. That's knackered the possibility of a re-union tour for good. I suppose he off to play the Great Gig In The Sky. RIP Rick.
Those crazy psychedelic looking pictures with hidden pictures if only you can make your eyes go funny. Well I wondered if I could still do them with specs on. I can. I found a website where you can make your own. See if you can read the hidden message.
I got myself the Oxford English Dictionary for the PC. It's brilliant and English. Each word has a pronunciation link. I'm rather ashamed of myself. At 47 years old I really shouldn't find it funny to go to the rude words and get the posh voice to say them out loud.
This is entirely true:
A while back now, we were having dinner at the Dick Turpin. As he does, Joe announced he needed a wee. Lou, as she does, said "Go with him, I don't like him going on his own". Off we went. "What's that?" said Joe looking at the condom machine. OK, thought I, he knows where babies come from. I'll explain what they're for. "Well...." said I "you know how mums and dads make babies?". "Yes" said Joe. "Well .... it's good fun and mums and dads like to do it more often than just when they want a baby. If the man puts one of those on his willy it stops him planting the seed and there won't be a baby" I explained. I thought I'd done rather well. Then Joe said "but it says mints". I looked and sure enough between three columns of various johnnies were mints for sale. I didn't bother to explain what the mints might be for.
There has been conversation suggesting that Vodafone and their buddies have been manufacturing jokes for us to all send to each other. There will eventually be a million pound joke if enough of us send them on. Here are some I've had texted to me:
Liverpool airport was shut yesterday for 8 hours due to a "suspicious car" apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it !
I've just been 2 my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a bit slow but f&*% me pass the parcel was fast!
Greater Manchester Police are looking for a 'Racist Attacker' I rang them but apparently it isn't a job advertisement...
After her outburst on breakfast TV a psychologist has denounced Heather McCartney as clearly unbalanced. Sir Paul has phoned in saying normally a couple of beer matts under her left foot does the trick....
Scientists have found that many women develop DYSONS disease after a few years of marriage.... They make a continuous whining noise and don't suck anymore.
I have just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking. Scared the hell out of me. So thats it! After today, no more reading.
Pakistan are bringing out an inflatable version of the table top football game! It'll be easy to blow up and much simpler to shoot. They gonna call it Benazir SubBhutteo!
A bride on her wedding night says to her new husband: '' I must confess darling, I was once a hooker! '' He replies ''that's ok dear, your past is your past. But I must admit I find it erotic. Tell me about it'' The wife says:'' my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan ! ! !''
NOW ON SALE AT IKEA - lesbian beds - No screwing involved. Its all tongue and groove!
.: ::. .. :.: :.. .:.. :..::. :.:. ..:: :..: ::: ..:. . .: ::. .. :.: :.. .:.. :..::. :.:. ..:: :..: ::: ..:. . ..:.:. .:. ...:.:. :.:.: ..:.. :.::. ::..:. .:. :...: ..:.. :....::. :..: :... :. ..:: .::. ::::.. ....:: .: :. ..::.. .:.:.:. ...::. ::.....: lots of love, Stevie Wonder.
I used to hate weddings.. All the old aunties would poke me & say "UR NEXT!" "UR NEXT!" they soon stopped that when I started doing the same to them at funerals!
"I lay upon a grassy bank,my hands were all a quiver.I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river". A short poem by Sir Paul McCartney.
TIP FOR THE DAY: Treat lifes little problems like your dog would ... If you cant eat it or shag it ... Piss on it and walk away!!! Lol
Check out Focus from 1973
And Wisbone Ash
And last, but by no means least, The Groundhogs
20/09/2008
Liverpool 0, Stoke 0. The Potters come home from Anfield with a point. Yeeeesssss! After the game the Stoke fans could be heard singing "We Support, We Support, We Support our local team, We Support our local team".
Crewe lost 4-3 to Southend
Vale were hammered 4-1 by The Macc Lads
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