The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Review of 2007 Edition!!
"Very Festive Colour!" exclaimed a reader, "Isn't it the same as the Christmas Edition 2006?"
(Errr... Yes - Ed.)
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 01/01/2008.
www.ebay.co.uk/ Somewhere to sell the tank top your Granny got you for Christmas.
06/09/2007
Pavarotti. 3000 people are said to have attended his funeral. Mostly pall-bearers.
30/11/2007
Evel Knievel - Dare devel motorcycle stunt man famous for nearly jumping things in the seventies. I've watched some of the TV programmes about him over Christmas. He wasn't what you would call pleasant. A hero never-the-less for jumping anything on a Harley Davidson.
15/9/2007
Colin McRae
This is particularly sad as his boy died in the helicopter crash too.
RIP Colin and Johnny. www.colinmcrae.com
20/12/07
The original script for the Fork 'Andles sketch, written by Ronnie Barker, went up for auction. It sold for 50,000 English pounds in the end. Worth every penny. You can't tell me we haven't had 50,000 pounds of laughter out of that one!
31/12/2007
You need to put your best Stoke accent on for this one. Gaz has a pupil by the name of Conner Cope. People may well misunderstand when he gets married as his first words in the ceremony will be "I Conner Cope...."
19/12/2007
Radio 1 have censored The Pogues Christmas hit, Fairytale of New York, 15 years after its release. They have removed the words "Faggot" and "Slut" as they may offend their listeners. The Pogues are reported to be amused at this ridiculous behaviour. Perhaps Radio 1 should reconsider whether or not to play songs from albums as it has the word "bum" in it.
01/06/2007
At last! We've changed the car. The new (04) one has seven seats and is more practical than a very practical thing. The garage very kindly took my Escort in Part-Ex. They didn't ask if anything was wrong with it, so I didn't tell them. The final nice surprise when we collected our second hand Zafira was a free tank of fuel! Well done Greenhous. The salesman accompanied us to the filling station where I squeezed as much as I could into the tank. I managed to get fifty English pounds worth in before the attendant told me the clicking noise at the nozzle means the tank is FULL.
Once again we've had a fantastic response to our WOP Poll with easily twice as many votes as last time.
The question (for those with only a normal memory span) was do you want big pictures in the Wolstanton Periodical.
And now for the result ..................................... (long pause while tension mounts)........
Ta-Dah!!! I shall do as I damn well please!
16/08/2007
It's 30 years since Elvis died. And they still play him daily on the radio!
03/06/2007
Only yesterday Lou left some food out for a lonely looking fox cub. A scrawny specimen he was. He came and scoffed the offerings and this morning I saw him again in the garden, probably after more free nosh. Unfortunately, we found him on the lawn this afternoon dead. He's now buried behind one of the damson trees. A Police spokesman said "there are no suspicious circumstances". Well, they always do don't they?
03/06/2007
The body of a man has been found in the canal at Etruria. He was wearing stockings, suspenders, a basque and a Port Vale shirt.Police have removed the shirt to save his family embarrassment.
02/07/2007
Following the terrorist attack on Glasgow airport, Police are searching a house up in Ches'. We took a look at lunchtime today and saw some tape across the road and some Policewomen. There was also a Hack trying his level best to get an interesting picture with a huge zoom lens. Here's mine taken with my phone!
My favourite quote from the whole episode (and the whole year) is from John Smeaton who "assisted" police when they were arresting the flaming terrorist idiot. "So I decked the gentleman...". Well done John!!!
John now has a website dedicated to him www.johnsmeaton.com
16/08/2007
Worthington's is closing! Newcastle will never be the same again. Where will I go next time I need an individual resistor with a budget of only eight pence. (The sale is still on at 01/01/2008)
This bloke goes into a pet shop and asks, "Have you got a cockatoo?"
"No," replies the shopkeeper, "but I've got a cockatiel."
"Ah, no," says the customer, "I really wanted a cockatoo, because its song is nice to have around the house."
"Well, if you have a cockatiel," continues the shopkeeper, "you can file a little bit off its beak, and it'll end up sounding the same. Be careful not to file too much off though, because if you do, when it tries to drink, it'll dip in too far and drown."
So the bloke agrees, and takes the cockatiel. Next day, however, he arrives back in the pet shop and asks, "Have you got another cockatiel?"
The shopkeeper, thinking this sounds ominous, replies, "Oh, no! You've filed too much of the beak off, haven't you, and it's drowned."
"No, not that," says the bloke, "it was already dead when I took it out of the vice."
Rodrigo Y Gabriella. Absolutely brilliant!!!! See this pair before you die. They are exceptional.
Mrs Pointon and I stood at the front. No-one else could see.
19/11/2007
Alice Cooper + Motorhead + Joan Jett and the Blackheads @ the M.E.N. Arena.
Joan - Looks good for her age. Good tight set and good tight trousers.
Motor - Too load man! Couldn't tell a note the guitarist played. That said, I'm pleased to have heard Motorhead play Ace of Spades live!
Alice - What a show! I wanna be elected!
Rick Wakeman's Grumpy Old Picture Show @ Buxton Opera house.
Music and Laffs from start to finish. Brilliant!
Rush @ the NEC
Once you've seen Neil Peart's drum solo you won't want to see anyone elses.
10/12/2007
For those of us (like everyone i know) who didn't win in the ballot for Zeppelin tickets, here's what we missed:
1, Good Times Bad Times
2, Ramble On
3, Black Dog
4, In My Time Of Dying
5, For Your Life
6, Trampled Under Foot
7, Nobody's Fault But Mine
8, No Quarter
9, Since I've Been Loving You
10, Dazed and Confused
11, Stairway To Heaven
12, The Song Remains The Same
13, Misty Mountain Hop
14, Kashmir
15, Whole Lotta Love
16, Rock And Roll
Highest price I know of for a pair of tickets was 83,000 english pounds.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Footy:
Stoke start the year 4th in the Championship (that's division 2). Next weekend sees them take on the troubled Newcastle United live on the BBC. Stoke also maintain their bogie status with the top spot Baggies by taking 4 points off them this season.
Vale are rooted to the bottom of League 1 (that's division 3). Vale's campaign has gone right off the rails.
11/12/07 - Chasetown 1-0 Port Vale. Vale missed TWO penalties to ensure Chasetown made it to the third round of the FA Cup for the first time in the history of the club.
Crewe are 17th in League 1 (that's division 3).
Leeds started the season bottom of League 1 (that's division 3) with minus 15 points due to financial irregulatities. The Editor predicted on day one of the season they will finish top. The editor will be right too!
England are currently unworthy of mention.
RUGBY WORLD CUP 2007:
Once again England's Rugby players show the footballers the meaning of the word commitment. Despite a humiliating 36-0 defeat to South Africa in the group stages, England ended up runners up to South Africa losing 15-6 in a thrilling final.
Mild for the time of year!
Travel would be nice. I must book a holiday.
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