The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Late, Late Summer 2006 Edition!!
"Haven't I seen that colour before???!" exclaimed a reader.
Yes you have. We've had it twice before but I was feeling nostalgic (Ed).
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 27/09/2006-ish.
www.planetrock.com One for Rock Fans. Turn off the Ginger Twit and listen to some good music instead! Listen to Rick Wakeman, for example, at Rick's Place telling crappy jokes but playing top quality music. Don't forget to get your DAB radio too!
11/07/2006
Syd Barret
Words from NBC:-
LONDON - Syd Barrett, the troubled Pink Floyd co-founder who spent his last years in reclusive anonymity, has died, the band said Tuesday. He was 60.
I've read it a hundred times and still I can't understand why the band said "Tuesday".
Words from www.Stern.de:
Syd Barrett, Gründer der legendären Band Pink Floyd
Er gründete in den 60ern Pink Floyd, nahm aber so viele Drogen, dass er bereits 1968 aus der Band geworfen wurde. Der geniale Musiker Syd Barrett ist im Alter von 60 Jahren gestorben.
You see! Germans make much more sense than the Yanks.
Steve Irwin killed by stingray
04 September 2006
Sydney Morning Herald
Television personality and environmentalist Steve Irwin has died after being stung by a stingray while filming off north Queensland.
Known worldwide as the Crocodile Hunter, the 44-year-old was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchcry "Crikey!"
The Queensland Police Service issued a statement saying Irwin collapsed after being stung at Batt Reef, Low Isles, off Port Douglas about 11am. He had been filming a documentary.
"Steve was hit by a stingray in the chest," said local diving operator Steve Edmondson, whose Poseidon boats were out on the Great Barrier Reef when the accident occured.
"He probably died from a cardiac arrest from the injury," he said.
Police said that, after the attack, Irwin's crew called for medical treatment at 11am and the Queensland Rescue Helicopter responded with a doctor and paramedic on board.
R.I.P. Steve
......your walking boots in our garden overnight. The foxes might just eat them. They did mine!
Just got back from a short break (Wednesday to Saturday) to find 75 e-mails in my box. 67 of them were SPAM or unwanted adverts. Hmmm. Gotta do sometning about this.
At last! There's a show in the West End (of London) worth watching. Spamalot the Musical is running until April next year. Book now at www.montypythonsspamalot.com
Chris "Ginger Twit" Evans has LOST one hundred and fifty thousand British listeners since taking over the drive time show on Radio 2, The Daily Mail reported. They also asked if the BBC person responsible for taking on this "Has-Been" for five hundred and forty English grand a year would please step forward and justify the decision.
The people of Wolstanton await an explanation!
September 17th, 2006
Pythagoras’s Theorem has 24 words.
The Lord’s Prayer - 66 words.
Archimedes Principle - 67 words.
The Ten Commandments - 179 words.
The Gettysburg Address - 286 words.
New European Union rules for the sale of cabbages - 26,253 words.
From the Parish Magazine of St. Mary Magdalen, Chulmleigh, Devon, UK.
then found on th'internet by the editor
Why is it, when a man becomes a certain age he has an uncontrolable urge to purchase all the things on offer at the local BP filling station. Last week - A road atlas for less than two english pounds and an electric tyre pump for a fiver. This week - a wind up torch again for only a fiver. Now once I've got the flask, fold away chairs, picnic blanket, solar powered garden lights (which never quite work do they?) and thing for brushing dog hairs off dog-hair-covered clothes I'll have the full set and will feel completely fulfilled! On the other hand............. eventually you take a look and think "where did all that junk come from?" Is there a cure?? Answers to the usual address.
Could all the male readers please help me out with an experiment. 1, Purchase some Linx deodorant. 2, Shave with the new Gillette 4 blade system (replacement blades are ONLY seven English pounds each!). 3, Use both of the above concurrently and see if the combined effect improves your success rate with ladies. If the adverts are to be believed you'll be worn out in no time at all!
'Not my idea of a good time', admits Shatner
William Shatner has turned down a free trip into space because it's "not my idea of a good time", as the actor explained to UK tabloid The Sun.
Richard Branson offered the 75-year-old a £114,000 ticket for Virgin Galactic’s first passenger flight in 2008. Shatner, however, declared: "I'm interested in man's march into the unknown but to vomit in space is not my idea of a good time. Neither is a fiery crash with the vomit hovering over me. I do want to go up but I need guarantees I'll definitely come back."
Kirk will not, then, be joining Ripley on the "VSS Enterprise" when it finally blasts off from Virgin Galactic’s New Mexico spaceport. Sigourney Weaver booked her flight back in 2004, prompting a spokesperson to comment: "We’d be delighted to take Sigourney back to visit the Aliens."
Top Gear presenter Richard Hamster crashed a rocket propelled car during filming. It is believed they were attempting to break the British land speed record. The Hamster is in a bad way but is expected to make "a good recovery". Get well soon Hamster. The last thing we all need is the BBC to drop Top Gear!
A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues. It had been a cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty. Just then, an elderly woman walked by. "What's the matter?" asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman. Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud. One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer. "You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by. "No" said the farmer "who?"
The passer by said.... "That was Thora Hird."
Footy:
Stoke: Have slid to fourth from the bottom of the table with an average of less than 1 point per game.
Vale: After a bright start are now 8th
Crewe: are sitting 10th in the table after 12 games
It's all a bit pants really!
Summer is already becomming a distant memory. September was "the hottest September since records began". Has anyone noticed the frequency with which the all time records are being broken????
At Last! The dee road (that's the day-road to locals) is finally open! I travelled down it the morning after it opened to see what must have been the first road-kill on the newly opened section. Highways Agency 1, Foxes 0.
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Circulation 15
Some of Newcastle's outstanding landmarks in (out-of-date) pictures.