The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Summer 2006 Special!!
"Lovely Summery Look!" exclaimed a reader.
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 05/07/2006-ish.
Circulation is up again. Our first single white female has joined the expanding readership. Anne wishes to remain nameless so we'll leave it at that!
www.websudoku.com OK Puzzle fans try this one. See if you can beat 4 minutes 17 seconds on the easy level.
Beat this if you can:
www.bbc.co.uk/stoke/webcams/chesterton.shtml The Chesterton Webcam. Check out the weather in Ches' any time you like. No need to look out of the window!
1/6/2006
Fred Trumann
Legendary former England and Yorkshire fast bowler Fred Trueman has died aged 75 after a battle with lung cancer.
(Fred came to the rescue just in time. It was looking like we might have to have Camilla's dad as TCD!)
Big John Prescott admitted recently to a two year affair with his secretary. It's a familiar story these days. Handsome, senior cabinet member has affair with (normally) good looking girlie. Even the blind members in the cabinet manage a good looker! How do they do it? What have they got that I haven't. Oh yes! I remember ..... power and money. Well that's it. I'm off to join the Labour party so I too can get a job running the country and some shagging on the side. Vote for me, I need the sex!
Vodafone have made the biggest corporate loss ever. They lost 15 billion English Pounds. The fact they have reduced my monthly bill from 25 English Pounds down to 8 English Pounds may have something to do with it.
Warning: Chris Evans, The Ginger Twit (TGT), hs been given the Drive Time show on BBC Radio 2. What are they playing at???!!! I can't believe they are using MY (Lou's) licence fee to line that idiot's pocket once again. The Editor recommends turning OFF your wireless between the hours of 17:00 and 19:00. Make that 19:30 to be sure. This way you will reduce the risk of exposure to the ginger topped tommy-tanker (that's nusery-nurse rhyming slang). How we jumped for joy when Virgin (his own station) sacked TGT. How we laughed when TGT LOST his case for unfair dismissal and had to pay his own SIX MILLION english pounds in court costs. Now..... the BBC give him a job!!! What's worse? The present Mrs Pointon wants to "give him a chance". I'm ready to drop kick the radio down the garden at 17:01 daily.
Stuart Mac-Only on Radio 2 was talking about all things Retro. He refered to a Slinky Spring as being "Like some people you know. Useless, but they make you smile when you push them down the stairs".
A matter of some concern has come to our attention and we feel advice really needs to be passed on. DO NOT put a Sudoko book by the toilet. As the present Mrs. Pointon pointed out to me "You'll turn yourself inside out you will!". I've managed to complete five at the difficult level. The doctor says the ointment should sort me out if applied correctly.
(This is really true. If you don't believe me go to www.worldcitizensguide.org/index2.html)
Made By Americans For Americans! This has been written to help stop Yanks offending people when they travel abroad, There are helpful tips like "don't shout so much" and "talk slower".
We were privilaged to have hosted a family of tits on our bird box outside the back room window. For several weeks they flew in and out bringing top quality nesting materials in. Tom, the evil cat, was looking forward to eating the young. Lucky for them they all managed to fly off avoiding an untimely cat induced death.
No one, but no one will be accusing Heather Mills-MacArtney of gold digging having been married to Paul for so long. The couple married in a hugh ceremony all that time ago in 2003. So long ago most of us can't remember. Heather says she is unable to cope with his high profile. What did she expect? She married one of the most sucessful musical scousers ever. Paul has been advised to "get one with two legs next time" by lawyers who feel the sympathy vote may help split his hard earned fortune in her favour.
Paul, who has been asking the same question for 40 years, finally got the answer. Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty four. "No! Ah worn't!" said Heather.
We've invested in a DAB radio. This was a totally neccassary investment in order to provide an alternative to Chris Evans and boy have we found it. Planet Rock! Where the Rock never stops. You wouldn't belive the things they play! They play both types of music there, Rock AND Roll!
Tune in Saturdays 10am 'till 13 o'clock to hear Rick Wakeman telling crap joke people have e-mailed in to him. It's the best thing on the radio!
Q. What's the difference between Sven Goran Erikson and a pyromaniac?
A. A pyromaniac isn't going to waste his last five matches!
Q: What makes this noise? Gorrim, Gorrim, Anna, Anna, Gorrim, Gorrim, Gorrim.
A: Joe "the Boy" Pointon on Saturday lunchtime with his new Premiership Shoot-Out Swap Cards.
I thought everyone knew! Blow then drink NOT drink then blow!!!!
Footy:
Out of season reports:
Stoke - Sold to the highest bidder. Peter Coates has regained control of the club. This means a whole new generation of fans can learn the chant "Coates Out! Coates Out! Coates Out!" when things don't work out right.
Crewe - Half the team Gotta go now they will be playing Vale in the league.
Vale - Nothing really exciting going on here.
WORLD CUP HIGHLIGHTS:
1, Argentina going home.
2, Portugal going home.
3, Just in case you were wondering about the headbut - from The Times Online:
After an exhaustive study of the match video, and with the help of an Italian translator, Rees claimed that Materazzi called Zidane "the son of a terrorist whore" before adding "so just f*** off" for good measure, supporting the natural assumption that the Frenchman must have been grievously insulted.
Hotter than a hot thing from a hot place.
Shall we?
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Circulation 15
Some of Newcastle's outstanding landmarks in pictures.