The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website New(ish) Year 2006 Edition!!
"Nice New Year Colour!" exclaimed a reader, "Isn't it the same as the Christmas Edition?"
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 23/01/2006.
www.ebay.co.uk/ Somewhere to sell the tank top your Granny got you for Christmas.
A Warm Wolstanton Weekly Welcome goes out to Cliff and Angus. Cliff is a former pharmacutical facitities friend. Angus is from the same social group where I found a wife. Some days I wish I didn't know Angus. Their arrival on the readership means an increase in circulation of approximately 0.1818181818181818181818182%. That's the biggest increase since the last increase but one. Anyone who knows Cliff or Angus can send a message via the editor.
As 13 in non-too-lucky for some I've added Paul Worthington to the subscriber list. Paul, there is no escape from this list!
20/01/2006
I Heard It Through The Grape Vine - Wilson Picket has died.
27/01/06
Had Mozart not died at age 35 he would have been 250 this week. Happy Birthday Wolfgang!
Rich Sutherland has been responding to all your Get Well messages by getting better. Rich is in for his "reversal" operation on 1st Feb 2006. Good Luck Rich! Messages are welcome at getwelloldman@r-control.co.uk
Has anyone noticed who's in control of this so-called court case? Sadam's complaints range from alleged abuse of his human rights to unfair TV coverage. Methinks the Yanks haven't noticed yet that he's clevererer than wot they are.
If there's anyone left out there without Broad-Band you'll need to vote in this WOP poll. I was told recently by a close friend that I am the only person he knows still on Dial-Up. Hmmm thought I. Maybe the time has come to take the plunge. This fine organ may get more complicated, you know, with things like animations and higher resolution pictures. So now to the vote. Would you like the Wolstanton Online Periodical to be:
A - Kept it simple like it always has been.
B - Stuff the consequences, we want massive files of funny stuff and particulaly high resolution photos of ongoing civil engineering works in and around Wolstanton.
You know how things occur to me:
Does toast really taste better when it is cut into triangles?
Answers to the usual place
This is directly from www.timesonline.co.uk. I just liked it.
A RACE TO THE WIRE AS OLD HAND AT MORSE CODE BEATS TXT MSGRS
By Mark Henderson
DOTTY and old-fashioned means of communication can still be the best: Morse code has seen off the challenge of the text message in a contest pitting the best in 19th-century technology against its 21st-century successor. The race to transmit a simple message, staged by an Australian museum, was won at a dash by a 93-year-old telegraph operator who tapped it out using the simple system which was devised by Samuel Morse in 1832 and was the mainstay of maritime communication up until 1997.
Gordon Hill, who learnt to use the technique in 1927 when he joined the Australian Post Office, easily defeated his 13-year-old rival, Brittany Devlin, who was armed with a mobile phone and a rich vocabulary of text message shorthand. Mr Hill, whose messages were transcribed by another telegraph veteran, Jack Gibson, 82, then repeated the feat against three other children and teenagers with mobile phones.
In the competition, at the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney, Mr Hill and his rivals were asked to transmit a line selected at random from an advertisement in a teenage magazine.
It read: Hey, girlfriend, you can text all your best pals to tell them where you are going and what you are wearing. While the telegraphist tapped out the line in full, to be deciphered by Mr Gibson, Miss Devlin employed text slang to save time. She keyed: hey gf u can txt ur best pals 2 tel them wot u r doing, where ur going and wot u r wearing.
Just 90 seconds after Mr Hill began transmitting, Mr Gibson announced that he had the message received and written down correctly. It took another 18 seconds for Miss Devlin’s message to reach the mobile phone belonging to her friend. Mr Hill said that he was impressed by modern technology, even though his clunky telegraph machine emerged on top in three further contests. Text messaging, he said, had even been predicted by one of his colleagues in 1961.
An engineer told me the day would come when we would be able to send messages without wires, he said. Miss Devlin said that she had two years of texting experience. I send about three messages a day, she said. I used to send lots more but I ran out of credit
..... if you are riding a motorbike within the catchment area of Leighton Hosptial.
Martin (long time fat friend) made the fateful mistake, in August 2005, of swerving to avoid a cat whilst riding a motorbike. In the resulting crash he broke a leg, shoulder blade and a couple of ribs for good measure. He was duely taken to Leighton and patched up. The leg was put in plaster and after a few days he was sent home. In December 2005 the plaster finally came off and the leg is still broken. Well done Leighton! So, don't fall off your bike near Crewe.
By special request, see if you can work out the secret message in this anagram:
ehT rotidE si a yllaer ecin .nam
(I'm sure I've seen that on a Welsh road sign!)
(Answer at the foot of the page)
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife told him "Tomorrow there'd better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to two hundred in two seconds flat". The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it to find a brand new set of bathroom scales.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday
Ouch!!! I bet she took some rescuing
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Footy:
It's official! Port Vale have the best penalty stopper in the Enlish league. Mark Goodlad has faced four penalties this season (to December). One went wide and he's saved the other three. Well done Mark!
Depressing!
Widespread traffic, bringing much needed polution to stave off the next ice age, is predicted for the whole of the UK..
Click Here to unsubscribe.
Circulation 14
