The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Christmas 2005 Edition!!
Hope You Like The Festive Colour!
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 21/12/2005.
www.noradsanta.org/ Check Santa's progress on Christmas Eve.
11/11/05
Lord Lichfield. Top photographer and one of the most popular posh people around. Patrick Lichfield went up in my estimation way back in the seventies when he got himself a Honda CB750.
Died following a stroke aged 66.
25/11/2005
George Best, Footballing legend who enjoyed the refreshments after the game too.
I'm sure all of you who know Richard Sutherland will join me in wishing him a continuing speedy recovery. Rich has had a bee-nine tumour removed from his bowel and is now on the mend. Send your get well message to getwelloldman@r-control.co.uk
I've been to bangladesh................
Interesrting facts about Bangladesh.
1, Currency is the Taka
2, There are about 115 Taka to the English pound.
3, There may be nine million bycycles in Bejing but that's nothing compared to the number of Rikshaws in Dhaka!
4, Approximately 12 Rikshaw drivers (pedelers) die every day in road accidents.
5, The Foreign Office recommend NOT travelling to Dhaka.
6, The Foreign Office recommend NOT travelling by public transport in Dhaka if you do go there.
7, They drive on the left (mostly).
8, Running a red light is quite normal on the Dhaka roads.
9, Stopping at green lights is advised just to check no one is coming the other way.
10, Mosquitos like to bite white men.
11, It's hot even in November.
I've been to Russia................
Interesting Russian facts:
1, You can get about 50 Rubels for One English Pound.
2, You can get about no English Pounds for any ammount of Rubels. There's no changing them back again.
3, Average wage is about the equivalent of fifteen English pounds.
4, They drive on the right (trams do too).
5, It's snows almost daily but this makes no difference to Moskovites.
6, The snow will lie on he ground until spring.
7, The air here is really dry.
8, Petrol is 18 Rubbles per litre. That's about 36 English Pence.
9, Despite large ammounts of snow, no-one throws snowballs or builds snowmen.
10, Releiving oneself on the motorway crash barrier seems to be quite normal.
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street.
As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP -Wasps of the World and the sounds that they make - available now"
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."
"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."
"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"
"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."
"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant,
"I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."
.... or do milk cartons get more annoying year on year? You can't open and pour the damn things without spillage.
Oh it makes me mad!
This was my room key in Bangladesh. Honest! It wasn't the name of the Hotel????
John Caudwell has broken his neck for the third time. Unfortunately he's still breathing and will probably make a full recovery.
Footy:
Stoke:
....... are 5th in the table going into Christmas............. somebody pinch me!
Crewe:
........ are dangerously close to the bottom of the table at 23rd.
Vale:
........ are not having their best ever season they're 16th.
Today is the shortest day - it's Dark, Cold, Wet, Dull And Gloomy.
Traffic is expected on most roads over the festive period.
Click Here to unsubscribe. It's a bit shocking this week.
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