The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Post-Election Special
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Posted 22/05/2005.
www.crewealexandra-mad.co.uk/ Well done Crewe.
Possibly the largest increase in readership of any on-line periodical this month. A Warm Wolstanton Weekly Welcome for the Widgerys. Hope you like it 'cause we don't do unsubscribing here!
No one to mention. They're all clinging to life this week.
Geurnsey, amongst others, have been celebrating the 60th anniversary of VE day. In 1945 Ronald MacDonald was the first soldier to fly the Union Flag signalling the end of Nazi occupation.
I have to confess, I didn't take the local election entirely seriously. Bamboozled by the choice of candidates I picked the one who lived closest to me. Well done Green Party. She beat the UKIP candidate into fourth place by one vote, mine!
More singing this week. We're very close to posting some of this on the website ready for the official launch. www.angrysongs.uk/
What A Way To Go
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me...."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
In this brand new feature we will be asking the sort of questions we sometimes ask ourselves. If these aren't the sort of questions you ask your self we'll ask them for you. So to kick off:
Why is it................when using a public conveniance and there's a cigarette end in the urinal do you find yourself compelled to pee on the fag end and try to get it all the way to the plug hole? Obviously, you have to do it without getting caught by a complete stranger. (Or is it only me who does this?)
There's a whole series of these. This is my favourite.
Footie:
Crewe:
....... survived by the skin of their teeth. The last 10 minutes of the game were an emotional roller coaster for the Crewe fans. Crewe went into the lead at Gresty Road, then Gillingam scored against Notts Forest comdemning Crewe to relegation. Then, blow me, Forest equalised gifting Crewe Champoinship status for next season.
One point to note is: Despite Crewe's poor form of late no one is calling for the head of the manager. Dairy O'Grady remains the longest serving manager of any club in the league. This wouldn't happen in ANY other club.
It's a beatiful day hey hey!
The M6 Toll fee is going up from £3.00 to £3.50, for a car, on June 14th 2005. Exactly in line with inflation I see.
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