The Wolstanton Quarterly World Wide Website Pre-Election Special
The Wolstanton Online Periodical World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 30/04/2005.
www.nhs.uk/ People can chubb all they like about waiting lists. When you really need them they're always there.
Sorry the Pope doesn't qualify as a celebrity!
Lord Carrington.
Political figure worthy of this spot for a Pre-Election Special.
It would be a bad thing to lean in any political direction so here is the WW unbiased summary of what the parties have done OR promised.
LABOUR (Previously known as the government):
During their term in office the rules regarding pornography have been relaxed. You may have noticed that the gutter press now has much ruder pictures on the front pages. The biggest change is that you can now get top class filth beamed into your home on the TV. Well done Labour!
CONSERVATIVE:
Desperate for power the Tories have been blabbing on for ages about popular issues like:
a, reviewing speed camera locations and removing the ones which fit the bill of "Cash Cow".
b, stop those asylum seekers taking our jobs.
c, put Matron back in the wards. She'll personally deal with MRSA and sort it forever! Hurrah for Matron.
LIB/DEMS:
Charles Kennedy's missus gave birth to Donald James two days before the election campaign started. Congratulations! Despite some excellent ideas (like scrapping the student fees) the "Tax The Rich" part of the manefesto will see them safely into third place again. One day they will be the government. One day.
GREENS:
Will be the same as last time. All the things they say are true. We will suffer the consequences of our own actions one day. On a personal basis though, non of us want to be the first to walk to work.
UKIP:
Stop giving all out cash to Europe and spend it on ourselves.
OTHERS:
Independence for Cornwall, Wales, Scotland, Uniting Ireland, Looking after the planet, blah blah blah...... it's just not popular!
The best promise made in a manefesto ever has to be from the Monster Raving Loonie Party. Paint all pavements yellow so you can see the dog poo!
He's got better and gone back to work thanks
Steve Hackett, The Wullfrun
Brilliant! and then some. No drums, no bass, no singing.
The first 45 minutes was Steve and a spanish guitar. The second half of the show included his brother on flute and a keyboard player. That was it!
A thoughroughly pleasant way to spend a Sunday evening.
The Musical Box, Birmingham Hippodrome
They did justice to Genesis' Lamb Lies Down on Broadway show of 1974.
Seeing the original 1100 slides from the seventies show really put things in perspective.
Brilliant! Another fine way to spend a Sunday evening.
Watch out! I've done some singing on the soon-to-be-completed recordings. Official website launch will be very soon.
Will return next edition.
Just look what the kids have done to the Marsh!!
Footie:
Stoke:
Currently for sale! On for a mid table finish.
Crewe:
Have fallen into the dreaded the "Drop Zone".
Vale:
Currently 18th in League 1, still 10 points above the "Drop Zone". Should be safe.
It's a beatiful day hey hey!
Recently, the D road at the apporaoch has been re-surfaced. I was quite surprised at what follows. Within two weeks of the brand new painted yellow lines (you know, the ones to make you think you're going faster than you really are) being finished, they we're covered in black streaky artic' skidding to a halt lines. Makes you think! Well it did me!
Click Here to unsubscribe.
Circulation 10