The Wolstanton Monthly World Wide Website
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Posted 26/09/04.
www.boomerangsounds.co.uk They sell good gear cheap, like headphone amps.
20/09/04
Brian Clough
Football legend Clough dies
Legendary former Nottingham Forest and Derby County boss Brian Clough has died from stomach cancer at the age of 69. Clough, who suffered ill-health for many years and had a liver transplant in 2003, died in Derby City hospital.
Clough won successive European Cups with Forest in 1979 and 1980, and also won the League with Forest and Derby.
In tribute to the tremendous character that was Cloughie, here are some reminders of "Old Big Ead's" forthright opinions and wit.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one" - On his own success.
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there" - On the importance of passing the ball to feet.
"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard" - On dealing with Roy Keane.
"We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right" - On dealing with players who disagree with him.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players" - On the appointment of Sven-Goran Eriksson.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd because that's exactly what I would have done" - On not getting the England manager's job.
"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes" - On England's exit from Euro 2000.
"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with" - On a streaker who once interrupted a Derby County-Manchester United match.
"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhoea" - On Manchester United's decision to opt out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship in 2000.
"For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls" - Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson's failure to win two successive European Cups.
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine" - On the influx of foreign players.
"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud" - On women and football.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius" - His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City.
"That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that" - On the pony-tailed former England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well" - Saying that too many managers lose their jobs.
"I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move" - Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"Who the hell wants 14 pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had 14 pairs in my life" - On the contents of Victoria Beckham's missing luggage.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband" - Advice for David Beckham.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive" - After the liver transplant which saved his life.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed. I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me." - On being remembered
Editor Orders New Gear
At my time in life I get excited very easily. I've ordered a Behringer headphone amp, that did the trick. This will be a very handy item while we're recording AngryStuff.
Editor Gets Big Face
What started out as a spot like thing has swelled my face enormously. One side of me looks like me and the other looks like a really fat bloke. Aunty Biotic should do the trick.
Beheading people is not a nice thing to do
There are a lot of lists about just now. Here's another of them. It's not really a joke but I enjoyed them
Top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics:
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
AngryNews:
Drums went down well. We'll layer some guitars on this week. www.angrysongs.co.uk
"Grimsby FC"
League Champions, Playoff cup Winners and League Cup runners up. All that with an average age of 74!! Well done lads.
(See if you can guess which one I know - Ed.)
By the way - This is Grimsby Canada so no-one smells of fish.
Footy:
21/09/04
Crewe 3-3 Sunderland
25/09/04
Burnley 2-2 Stoke
Preston 1-0 Crewe
Port Vale 0-3 Blackpool
Cricket
West Indies clinched the Champions Trophy with a thrilling two-wicket victory over England at a chilly Oval. This after we beat the Aussies too. Oh well, there's hope for us yet.
Formula 1:
For the first time ever, the Grand Prix was staged in China. A red car won (no surprise there then). Barichello won and I neither know nor care about the rest of the placings.
First frost of the cold season this week.
Maybe I'll show you my D road plan next week. I know you're dying to see it!
See Picture of the week. Cheers Andy.
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