The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website
Not-So-New Year Edition!!
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WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
www.skivesuite.com/en/
This one is essential for the return to work in the New Year. Submitted by Chris Shubotham (New Reader)
The Beagle Has Landed
Beagle was Donald Ducked on landing. Great Shame
Peacetime Update
Geat surprise this week. Sadam isn't co-operating.
It's still all a bit quiet.
Appologies to Sir Alan Bates for getting his name wrong last week.
It seems the return of "Top Celebrity Death" has brought on a biggie. This week it's non other than Bob Monkhouse, the posh comedian. Joke writer to the joke tellers. Bob kept people like Bob Hope on the stage with more gags than you can poke a stick at. RIP Bob. Sorry to say the Missus won't miss you.
Shortly after Christmas - Ginger, the guinea pig, was found dead in the hutch. A short burial service was held in the back garden where he was laid to rest. Ginger was buried with a carrot and covered with a tee towel to keep him warm. referring to the carrot, Joe commented "at least he'll have something to eat if he's not really dead and he wakes up". Kind words indeed.
Police say there are no suspicious circumstances and they are not looking for any other animal.
It's all death this week! Harold Shipman did us all a favour this week by committing suicide. That should save us a small fortune. Let's hope the authorities see sense and don't do anything stupid like waste public money on an enquiry.
Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front. Who do you let in? Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.
Footie:
31/12/03
Vale get some money at the last minute. Bugger!!! It would haver given a whole new meaning to "Conference Calling".
03/01/04 FA Cup Third Round:
Crewe 0-1 Telford. Now that's what I call a bananna skin result!
Wimbledon 1-1 Stoke. Must try harder. See me after school. Stoke lost the replay.
17/01/04
Premiership best result:
Wolves 1-0 Man Utd.
Division 1
Wimbledon 0-1 Stoke. For the first time in ages Stoke are above Crewe in the table.
Ipswich 6-4 Crewe. That's not a mis-print there were 10 goals!
Division 2
Port Vale 5-1 Grimsby. That too isn't a mis-print!
5 weeks after opening the 900million pound project, 23 years in the planning and building, the M6 Toll has cones on it!!!!!!!! They are resurfacing a stretch because it's bumpy.
Back home so it's back to normal.
Dear Sir, I wish to register my displeasure on the link refered to as "To unsubscribe Click Here". I was most disappointed to find I had been redirected to Norway. Is this some kind of sick joke? I have no interset in the Norwegian Blue regardless of it's colourful plumage and I don't like Fjords! I have contacted my MP who will be taking the matter up with non-other than Mr Blair himself. It's this kind of sloppy and offensive programming that has kept me in work for the last 10 years. I wish it to be known that this level of software programming is copyrighted by myself. PS Happy New Year. Anon.
We try to please and keep it topical. If I'm off to Norway, why shouldn't you go to? (Ed.)
Circulation 7