The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website
Post Christmas Edition!!
The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
http://www.esa.int/
The European Space Agency. Get the up to date real news on Beagle and all the other stuff they do.
The Beagle Has Landed
Beagle landed, as planned, on Christmas Day. Unfortunately, no signl can be heard from the dog sent to Mars to look for signs of life. Despite upbeat noises coming from scientists at the European Space Agency, Wolstanton Weekly remains downbeat. Oh well! Jan 4th is the best chance of making contact when the "Mother" vessel will be the best in position to find her "Baby" Beagle. Fingers crossed until then.
Peacetime Update
It all seems to be going round in small circles. US Soldiers are dying in pairs.
It's all a bit quiet until next year.
We haven't had this feature lately. I'd almost forgotten it.
Sir Alan Bateman died aged 69.
Sir Alan, famous for starring opposite Oliver Reed in the film version of Women in Love, passed away in a London clinic Saturday night. Don't ask me what else he did!
There seems to have been a clump of mad things happened over the festive period:
1, One of The Queen's corgis is mauled to death by Princess Anne's dog. The same dog which got her into trouble after it savaged a child.
2, A friend's dad ran over his own dog Christmas Eve. Twice!!!!!
3, 20,000 dead in Iran after a Earthquake.
4, Another, diabetic, friend was rushed into hospital. Probably not looking after her diet properly if you ask me but I'm no doctor.
5, A policeman is shot dead after stopping a stolen car. I must be getting old, I feel I'm on the side of the Police.
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Remember Catchphrase? Here's one they had on. Say what you see:
"Say what you see!"
The answer was, of course, "Holding Down A Job". Too obvious really.
Footie:
Boxing Day:
Stoke 1-1 Preston NE. Penalty in extra time gives Stoke a point.
Crewe 3-1 Burnley. Well done to Crewe.
Sheffield Wednesday 2-3 Port Vale. Vale take Sheffield Wednesday firmly from behind. This could be Vale's last game????? The club could close if the solicitors can't agree another take-over before Monday.
28/12/03
Burnley 0-1 Stoke. Who'd of thoght it. Stoke are only three points behind Crewe now.
Preston 0-0 Crewe
Port Vale 2-2 Stockport. Vale are now 1 point outside the play off zone with a game in hand and no money in the bank.
University honours top referee:
I've put this in because this bloke is my favourite referee of all time. Remember England v Argentina at the wild cup? It will be a sad day when he retires.
Italian ref Collina looks forward to an away fixture at Hull University The world's top football referee is to receive an honorary doctorate from the University of Hull. Pierluigi Collina will be presented with an Honorary Doctor of Science degree by Dr David Sewell, dean of the university's Faculty of Science, at Hull City Hall in July 2004.
Queues for car parks all over the place. You might as well walk. The sales are on.
It snowed and lasted just long enough to have a snowball fight over the hedge with the boys next door. I deployed British Army tactics of waiting for incoming fire and returning fire to the source of enemy fire with excellent results, three direct hits.
Hellloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Really will be next year. Happy New Year to all our readers. I'm off to Norway in January so the next edition may be late but well worth the wait.
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