The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website
Christmas Edition!!
The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
www.royalmail.com
Apart from being a useful site for things like finding postcodes, Royal Mail deserve a special mention for their outstanding sense of humour. They've issued some commemorative stamps for the 2003 Rugby World Cup. There's a first class stamp and a 68p stamp. By coincidence it costs exactly 68p to send a letter to Australia! Well done Royal Mail.
Organ Grows Again
Wolstanton Weekly Welcomes, for the first time ever, TWO new readers this week in alphabetical order so as not to offend anyone! Chris Shubotham and Rich Sutherland. Both are known to some other readers to a greater or lesser amount from Tyre Manufacturing days for a certain rubber company who shall remain nameless.
Libya Sees Sense
Colonel Gadaffi, Libyan leader and terrorist, has noticed that the Whitehouse has a complete Nutcase in charge. I'm fairly certain he will have had an eye on events in Iraq. To this end Lybia has announced it's intention to give up WOMD and save America the trouble bombing them back to the Dark Ages.
Peacetime Update
Sadam has been shaved! He is pretty ugly with or without a beard.
It's all a bit quiet until next year.
You Know It's Christmas When:
1, Chris De-Burr is followed by Greg Lake, Slade and Cliff on Radio 2
2, You overhear conversations between women comparing notes on their strategy for storing a months worth of food for the one day the shops are closed. "Well you never know" they say "you might get snowed in!". Yeah! just like the last time in 1962 and the time before that in 1946!!
3, It's not snowing.
4, For one day only you notice every child in the world seems to have a new bike.
5, It's still not snowing!
CHRISTMAS TOP FIVE 2003
1. Mad World Gary Jules
2. Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) The Darkness
3. Changes Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne
4. Proper Crimbo Avid Merrion
5. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Pop Idols
I know you'll all share the disappointment I feel that The Darkness didn't make the Christmas No.1 spot. Take some comfort, with me, from the Pop Idols result - They only made No.5. Let's hope this signals the end of the crap show which is only there to further the "Judges" careers anyway.
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behaviour, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
"The Truth About Ice Cream Cones."
Footie: 20/12/03
Watford 1-3 Stoke
Crewe 2-3 Wigan
Port Vale P-P Blackpool
Rugbo:
20/12/03
England 42-17 NZ Baa-Baas
England beat another of the world's finest teams at Twickenham with a second string team.
Queues for car parks all over the place. You might as well walk.
No Snow Here
Hellloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Will be next year. Happy New Year to all our readers. I'm off to Norway in January so the next edition may be late.
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