The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website!!
The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
And why ever not. Purveyors of Short and Long range weather forecasts. You can watch the three day surface pressure animation if you're that way inclined.
There's just so much weather stuff there you wouldn't believe it!
www.met-office.gov.uk
Trip to Essex
My interesting and varied life found me working on site at "Glaxo Smith Kline" in Essex this week. Whilst using the toilet facility I noticed a sign which read "Please Leave The Toilets As You Would Expect To Find Them". These toilets were nothing like factory toilets I'd ever seen! They were spotlessly clean. So quick as a flash I whipped out my black marker pen, drew a crap nude in a rude position, wrote a typical crappy limerick with a swear word in the last line, left a jobbie the size of a submarine covered in half a roll of paper and broke the cistern. I still don't understand why they wanted the toilet to be as I expected it!
Peacetime Update - George Gets His Man!!!!
At last the arrest of the Ace of Spades!!! Sadam was found in a hole in the ground in his home town of Tikritt. Now this strikes me as being very similar to hiding in your Mum's house when you're on the run from the police.
Now that Sadam has been found alive let's hope the Allies have the good sense to torture him mercilessly before handing him over to an Iraqi court who will then pass a Slow-And-Painful death penalty fully supported by the American and British leaders.
Not much happened this week again. In fact nothing is going on before next year. There is a band really!!!
YYZ at The Limelight Crewe.
Thoroughly talented band worthy of applause just for being able to remember so many Rush songs
This teacher in an expensive private school is asking her pupils what their fathers do for a living. "My dad's a lawyer," says one. "My dad's a doctor," says another. "My dad's a teacher," says a third. This continues in a similar vein until she asks little Johnnie, who says, "My dad's a stripper in a gay bar." "WHAAAT?!!!" shrieks the teacher. "That's right," continues Johnnie, "he takes all his clothes off, and lets people do unmentionable things to him." Embarassed, the teacher quickly changes the subject. After class, however, she tells Johnnie to stay behind for a few minutes, and asks him, "Is that right that your father's a stripper?" "Oh no, Miss," replies Johnnie, "He plays football for Port Vale, but I was too ashamed to tell the class".
"Aussie Wine. Sent in by our man no longer at the front."
Footie:
Mid-Week Special
Crystal Palace 1-3 Crewe. Nice one Crewe! This helped Stoke out op the bottom three.
West Ham Utd 0-1 Stoke City. Rare away win lifts The Potters from the relegation zone.
Saturday
Stoke Win Again
Crewe get a draw against top spot West Brom
Thursday:
The M6Toll road opened this week. Against my better judgement I thought I'd give it a try for only two English pounds. The problem was - IT WASN'T OPEN NORTHBOUND!!!!!
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
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There will be a next edition and might be a festive special. Then again.....