The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website
The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
Posted 21/03/04.
www.drtube.com/ Dead handy site for all you guitarists using valve amps. Schematic diagrams and handbooks for every valve amp you can think of. Except Mine!
From somewhere in cyberspace:
"Beer is God's way of telling us he wants us to be happy."
Not this week.
Business News: Rockwell Are Skint:
The UK arm of Rockwell Automation, suppliers of Allen Bradley PLC's, have gone into voluntary liquidation. This is a sure sign that industry in Britain is not what it used to be. Maybe it's time we all did something else. Or, as some of you already are, do the same thing in a different country.
Spain Elect Wrong Party:
So Ai-Qudea finally did it! They've bomed their way to influence. The bombings in Spain cost the goverment their jobs as Spain chose the anti-war opposition in their general election.
Mrs. Pointon's RTA update:
The present Mrs. Pointon seems to be happy with the purchase of a new Ford KA. If anyone knows how to pronounce it can they please write to me and let me know.
21/03/04
More US troops killed in rocket attacks.
Subject: Analogies taken from GCSE and A Level English Exam papers.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
Band:
Would you believe it? Nothing happened yet again!
Band2:
Angry style jam is booked for this week. Watch this space!!
"Alzheimer Klinik"
Footy:
Mid-week special:
16/03/04
Sunderland 1-1 Stoke
Port Vale 1-0 Luton
17/03/04
West Ham 4-2 Crewe
20/03/04
Stoke match hit by gales
Crewe 0-1 Cardiff
Barnsley 0-0 Port Vale
Despite the breeze, Mini Soccer was still on. Joe was transferred twice this week, from Black Bibs to Green Bibs and then to Pink Bibs. As his agent I took 10% of the fee.
Six Nations:
England 31-21 Taffs
Formula 1:
No prizes for guessing who won! Herr Shoe-Maker again. Yawn!!!! This season will be all cobblers.
Gales with gusts of 70mph took the tiles off the working mens club in Wolstanton.
Don't go anywhere. It's really windy.
Silence.
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