The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website
The Wolstanton Weekly World Wide Website is best viewed 800X600 using your eyes.
WARNING! Occasionally items are not entirely true.
http://www.tpsonline.org.uk
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News:
Hutton Enquiry In Depth Report:
Goverment 1, BBC nil.
Mrs Pointon in major RTA:
29/01/04
The present Mrs. Pointon was involved in a two car smash yesterday. She was driving steadily on the icy roads when she slowed to allow a police car with flashing blue lights to pass. CCCRRRRRUUUUNNNNCH! The very nice man behind drove into the back of our car. He then got out and asked Mrs. Pointon "Why did you slow down? Look what you've done to my car". Mrs. Pointon kept her cool and pointed out who ran into whom. It's all going to insurance now. Hey ho! No one was injured. Police are not treating it as suspicious. In fact, as usual, Police aren't doing anything at all.
New Bike Museum:
The National Motorcycle Museum, devastated by fire last year, is being rebuilt at a fantastic rate. 150 "new" exhibits have been purchased to replace fire damaged stock. The new building should be complete by December 2004. This time there will be a sprinkler system and a no smoking sign next to the pile of rubbish at the back.
Lots still dying in continuing suicide bombing attacks. Just for the record - I can't comprehend how anybody can bring themselves to committ suicide and murder at the same time. It hardly seems glorious to me. Morons!
One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!" "You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?" "I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make." "Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation. "Well," began t he youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!" "Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?" "I'm marrying Des Lynam!" "DES LYNAM?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"
"Compassion"
Tennis:
Henman lost to an Argentine I've never heard of who then got knocked out.
Footy:
31/01/04
Stoke 3-2 Walsall. Stoke are only 5 points outside the play off positions!
Crewe 1-2 Millwall
Brentford 3-2 Port Vale. Vale have lost the form they had at the beginning of the season.
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